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Pretty Much The Same Faced Woman

Julia Roberts rails against Botox, and yet hasn't aged, like, ever.

Who Doesn't Love Betty White? Besides Cloris Leachman?

In unrelated news, Cloris asks if life insurance covers poisoned cheesecake.

I Can Make You A Manicure

Pax and Zahara Jolie-Pitt are very concerned with nail care.

I Did My Boobs For This?

Photo Opp.: Last Night's Big Picture.

Baby Superstardom Less Awesome Than Previously Believed

Mary-Kate Olsen sets the record straight about playing half of Michelle Tanner.

Maybe The Transsexual Hooker Party Was Invitation Only

Staff from Casey Affleck's Joaquin Phoenix documentary deny the set was the kind of offensive environment described in a sexual harassment suit.

Wyclef To Run For President of Haiti

Lauryn Hill to appear lazier than ever.

Mel's Sons To Weigh In On Alleged Awfulness

Oksana's named two of Mel's kids as witnesses to his abusive behaviour.

I Slugged The '80s

Photo Opp.: Last Night's Big Picture.

Death Is A Gleek

Lea Michele narrowly avoids being crushed to death by a flying truck.

Married With Other Women's Children

Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz ignore the objections and get straight to the "I do"s.

Like Colourful Patterned Sweaters, Cosby Will Live Forever

Save the "Ghost Dad" jokes. The 73-year-old comedian finds nothing funny about a fourth rumour he's died.

Girl's Gone Mild

Lady Gaga on kicking drugs (yay!), bulimia (yay!) and sex (too far!).

Rehab IV: A New Hope

Lohan Lockdown--Day 15: Lindsay has left prison for 90 days in her fourth and final (possibly? no?) rehab.

To Love, Honour, And Commiserate Over Bill's Moonwalking

Photo Opp.: Last Night's Big Picture.

Leonardo Attacker No Longer Canada's Problem

A woman accused of slashing Leonardo DiCaprio across his money-making face finally gets sent to her trial in L.A.

Everything On MTV Separates From Everything Else

Heidi files for divorce from Spencer while Canada's Jessi Cruickshank's leaving Dan Levy for L.A.

Starving Artists

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green share an intimate dinner for less than one.

Katie Holmes Hates Canadian Cupcakes

While filming in Toronto, she has a batch of the trendy dessert delivered from New York City, 765 kilometres away.

Jail Decidedly Lacking In V.I.P. Services

Lohan Lockdown--Day 11: Dina moans that Lindsay is treated like "a common criminal" in jail.

Leah Totally Cool With Sara Coming Out

Photo Opp.: Last Night's Big Picture.

Angelina Can Wear Anything, Including Duct Tape

Glossed Over: The Best of Celebs on the Newsstand.

Famous Lesbian Is A Lesbian

Sara Gilbert finally confirms what the two kids with a woman kind of already did.

Jen Love's Chances Of Dying Alone Dip Slightly

The actress goes on a P.D.A.-laden date, and you'll never guess who with! (And you've never heard of him.)

Heidi, Spencer Reunited By Spencer's Lifeguard Movie

Is the divorce off? But we were so close!

The "No Madonnas" Club Holds Inaugural Meeting

Photo Opp.: Last Night's Big Picture.

Not Without My Stylist

Lohan Lockdown--Day 9: If only Lindsay Lohan put as much effort into scheduling her alcohol-education classes as she has into her post-prison hair 'do.

Al Gore Fervently Denies Attempting To Be Sexy

The Nobel prize-winning politician has been interviewed by Portland police over a sexual-harassment charge.

Mel Savouring Precious Years Before Daughter Knows He's Awful

He's lost his job, his girl, the respect of the world, but one thing you can't take away from Mel is his good parenting (at least until the child-services investigation wraps).

Snoop Dogg And A Sizzle Lizzle (Sea Lion)

Photo Opp.: Last Night's Big Picture.

Is Anyone Here Not Secretly Fathered By MJ?

Diana Ross's niece claims to be long, lost daughter of Michael Jackson.

Ready To Say "I Do" (Want Your Money)?

After calling off her engagement last spring, Tara Reid will make you believe in love with a multi-millionaire again.

Jon's Making Kate Cracks

So much for his TLC-ordered media hush. Jon joins dancer Tony Dovolani in jabbing Kate over "Dancing With The Stars."

Sandra Has Better Things To Take Back Than Jesse

Like the car, the couch, the place settings, the crystal, the Oprah-brand gold toilet seat...

Heidi Ditches Her Normal Friends: The Continuing Saga

Playboy bunnies, ex-marine boyfriend Cougar, offer continued support.

Angelina Weighs Publicity Pros and Cons Of Strangling Publicist

Photo Opp.: Last Night's Big Picture.

"Jersey"'s Mike Sorrentino Too Much To Stomach

One man can only flash his waxed, knotty abs in your face so many times before the murder fantasies set in.

Kate's Heart, Unhinged Libido, Will Go On

Kate Winslet calls off her four-month, post-marriage draught to rebound into the arms of a certain male model.

Lindsay Vying For Prison Cool-Girl Status

Lohan Lockdown--Day 7: Everywhere Lindsay Lohan goes, people are calling her name: "firecrotch!" "firecrotch!" "firecrotch!:

Mel Shaken, Stirred, Over Timothy Dalton

Mel Tape VII: Mel vs. Bond, Mel vs. disappointing tree-planting ceremonies, and all the f-bombs you've come to know and dread from Oksana's secret tape stash.

Hypochondriac's Corner: Yes, Your House Can Kill You!

Mould may have murdered the late Brittany Murphy and Simon Monjack.

Salt II: Double-Agent Daycare

Photo Opp.: Last Night's Big Picture.

Mental Note: No Dates With Kick-Boxers' Girlfriends

Shia LaBeouf broke that rule by taking his Transformers co-star Rosie Huntington-Whiteley out for dinner.

Kate Plus 8, Plus Bears, Plus Sarah Palin

Plus me PVR-ing this.

One Awful Thing Mel Probably Didn't Do

TMZ's Harvey Levin doesn't believe Mel Gibson tried to have him killed. It's not like they were dating or something.

This Prison Is Making Her Thirsty

Lohan Lockdown--Day 4: Water, water everywhere, so why won't Lindsay drink?

Orlando And Miranda Say "I Do"

And that's pretty much all they're saying after their abrupt, secret wedding.

Olivia Munn Taken Prisoner By Nerds

Photo Opp.: Last Night's Big Picture.

How Ali Lost The "Bachelorette" Weight: Barely Trying

Glossed Over: The Best of Celebs on the Newsstand.

Mason "Birth Control" Kardashian

Kim says her seven-month-old nephew is her most effective form of birth control.

Wild "House" Party

Guns, drugs and strip joints were part of the office culture on "House," a former employee is claiming in a discrimination law suit.

Even Ryan's Girlfriend Thought He Was Gay

Curse you and your misleading jokes, Simon Cowell! Julianne Hough turned Ryan Seacrest down for four years over rumours around his sexuality.

Average, Everyday Prisoner Gets Early Family Visit

Lohan Lockdown--Day 3: Lindsay gets a visit from her mother and her sister three days ahead of schedule, because L.A.'s just fair like that.

Jennifer Aniston Smells In London

Photo Opp.: Last Night's Big Picture.

Applegates: The Next Generation

Christina Applegate is pregnant, engaged and employed. Yes, these people do exist!

Charlie's Wife Leaves Fake-Sounding Rehab

Brooke Mueller just needed 30 days away to learn about stress management. Who doesn't?

Sandra Bullock's New Man Inspires Boos, "Really?"s

A nosy neighbour whispers that Sandra and Jesse James are trying to rebuild their relationship.

Lindsay To Be Out Before Her Tanner Fades

Lohan Lockdown--Day 2: Don't miss Lindsay too much. L.A. police say she'll likely be released in two weeks.

Rolling Stoner

Photo Opp.: Last Night's Big Picture.

The Oscar For Best Performance In A Mugshot Goes To...

Um, well at least Lindsay's cocky new mugshot shows she can still work a camera.

Crazy In Love With Jennifer Aniston

Luckily the crazy is now locked up in a mental institution.

Dial Mel For Murder

Yes, it sure does get worse. Oksana claims Mel Gibson threatened to murder her and her children.

Rated R May Have Been Edited For Content

Canada's bachelor ambassador to the world (yes! we have jerks too!) says shady editing distorted his sulky "Bachelorette" exit.

See You In A Few Weeks, Lindsay

The actress has turned herself in for her 90-day jail sentence.

Brangelina Bring Sexy Back

Photo Opp.: Last Night's Big Picture.

Mariah Pregnancy Joins Fairies, Unicorns, As Mythical Legend

Despite a swell of rumours last month, Nick Cannon says his wife is definitely not pregnant.

Where Is Chelsea's Wedding?

It's easy to find. You just follow the trail of Bill and Hillary's tears.

NEXT!

Justin and Drew's love affair is now only in the movies as Drew steps out with a new dude.

Jeremy Making A Career Out Of Forced Confinement

Sure, Jeremy London is totally sober. He's just going on "Celebrity Rehab" as a practice.

Lindsay Approaching Jail Term With Comforting Delusions

She's supposed to surrender to a 90-day jail term on Tuesday, but finds reassurance in the belief she can still blow it off.

Mel Gibson Is Not A Racist: The Opera

Photo Opp.: Last Night's Big Picture.

Celine Dion Owes In Different Area Codes

The singer owes almost $30,000 on her massive backyard water park.

Sleeping With Ellen Page Hazardous To Your Health

The "Inception" star is a Hollywood "it" girl by day; a naked, bug-terrorized heartbreaker by night.

Lindsay's German Interview: Translating The Translation

When future prisonista Lindsay Lohan was supposed to be attending alcohol-education classes, she was in France giving this interview to German GQ. This is what was too important to wait.

No Secret Stamos Hot-Tub Parties

John Stamos claims his extortionists are also liars.

Monstrously Abusive Husband? Huh, Never Really Noticed

Mel Gibson's wife of three decades files an affidavit saying he was never an abusive, panting, teeth-shattering prick to her.

England Welcomes Visiting Royal, The Fresh Prince

Photo Opp.: Last Night's Big Picture.

Angelina Gets Cute About Her Son Pax

Glossed Over: The Best of Celebs on the Newsstand.

There Goes The Neighbourhood

Deep breathes, Sandra. All three of Jesse James's ex-wives could be living in Austin soon.

Mel Gibson Is Broke, Nice

In a fifth tape of Mel Gibson abuse, he talks (or screams, and pants) about his dwindling fortunes. Plus: Oksana charges child abuse as their custody case is revisited.

She's Not As Bad As O.J., Right? RIGHT?

In a last ditch effort to dodge jail, Lindsay Lohan hires O.J. Simpson's counsel Robert Shapiro.

Controversy Over Bikini-Clad Pam About 20 Years Late

Photo Opp.: Last Night's Big Picture.

Ryan Injures Perfect Shoulder

Chances of survival remain high.

Mel Gibson: To Blow Or Not To Blow

Tape Leak Part IV: The still further adventures of Mel Gibson saying incredibly offensive things on tape.

Aniston Breaking Hallowed "Sisters Before Misters" Rule?

Jen's rumoured new man used to be her girlfriend's husband.

Penélope & Javier Exchange Vows. Um, Of Silence?

The Spanish supercouple wed weeks ago in a super covert ceremony.

Looking Good, Spencer

Photo Opp.: Last Night's Big Picture.

Spawn Of Vaughn

Vince's Albertan wife Kyla Weber is with bun.

Girl-On-Girl Power

Scary Spice has a certain blonde Canadian actress she'd like to kiss.

Introducing Brangelina For Four-Year-Olds

Stop the presses! At "Tiger Beat"! Joe Jonas and "Twilight" vampire Ashley Greene are dating.

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